Photo
Photo
Text

You are not alone

youneedacat:

realsocialskills:

If you are being hurt by a person, they’re likely trying to convince you that no one else could possibly understand your relationship.

If you’re being hurt by your family, they’re likely trying to convince you that no one else could possibly understand your family.

If you are being hurt by a community, they’re likely trying to convince you that no one from outside the community can possibly understand.

It’s not true. You are not alone. There are others outside your relationship, family, and community, who can relate to what you’re going through and who can help.

Some aspects of your relationship, family, or community are unique. Some of them are probably unusual, positive, and hard for outsiders to understand. But that is not the barrier that those who are hurting you want you to think it is. It is not insurmountable.

People do not have to understand absolutely everything in order to relate to your experiences in important ways.

You can make connections with others, and a lot of things you have experienced will be very, very similar. Some aspects of abuse are universal. Others are very common. (One very common aspect of abuse is that there is often something about the relationship that is positive, unusual, and secret or hard to describe.). 

The people who you can relate to may be very different from you in a lot of ways. They may be a different age, ethnicity, religion, race, gender, or culture than you. Maybe they are disabled and you aren’t. Maybe their disability is different, or more severe, than yours. Maybe the particular horrors they faced took a different shape. That matters, but it’s not the only thing that matters.

It is ok to relate to the experiences of people who are very different from you. It is not appropriation. (It is not ok to pretend that your experiences are identical; but it’s completely possible to relate without doing that.) Don’t let anyone tell you to only listen to people who are just like you. We all need each other.

People may be trying to isolate you, but you are not alone. Other people can and do understand and care about the ways in which you are getting hurt.

youneedacat said:

I think this is one of the most harmful things about the flagrant misuse of the word ‘appropriation’ that I’ve seen flood through tumblr.  Like, “It’s appropriation if you flap your hands and you’re not autistic.”  As if autistic people have a secret cultural patent on hand-flapping.

But seriously — this fear of identifying with each other is toxic.  It’s far more toxic than the occasional overidentification is.  Overidentification can be plenty bad, and I dislike it as much as anyone does.  But.  What I see happening on tumblr and other places that adopt this attitude, is people getting pushed apart.

People getting pushed apart needlessly.  Because people are afraid to identify with each other’s experiences for fear of being ‘appropriative’.  (Which isn’t even what real appropriation looks like.  Real appropriation is horrible and awful and nasty, but it is not the same as identifying with someone different than yourself.  I keep wanting to say, “You’re appropriating the word appropriation.”)

And I think even in activist contexts this gets things screwed up.  It prevents solidarity among people with similar experiences.  It prevents people from different oppressed groups from comparing notes and learning from each other.  Because everyone is so afraid of accidentally stepping on each other’s toes that they won’t get within ten feet of each other, that’s how ridiculous it’s getting.

And yes — it also screws things up in contexts where a person is being abused and needs help but is afraid to identify with the experiences of other people.  I know that’s the main topic.  But I wanted to address it in terms of activism too because there’s a serious parallel thing going on there.

It’s just… it’s all so wrong, and all so toxic, and I can see what made things go bad in this direction, but I can’t see how to fix it.  Other than setting out little packages with bits of truth in them, like I’ve talked about.  Like the original poster did.  Like I’m doing now.  And then people can find the packages and read them and decide for themselves what to think about them.

(via obstinatecondolement)

Photoset

improbablenormality:

lydiamartcn:

thatmovieguydoe:

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE.

All Dates are Official. Movies from Doctor Strange onward are not. This is my speculation to what the upcoming slate of Marvel Studios films will entail, coming off the announcement of the new release dates!

Superhero movies are taking over the world!!!

No Black Widow movie?

(via namoritaprentiss)

Tags: MCU
Photoset

stereoculturesociety:

CultureSOUL: *Blues & Jazz men* - The Great Migration era (1930s-1940s)

  1. Willie Smith and Fats Waller, 1937. Photo by Charles Peterson
  2. Little Bill Gaither, Big Bill Broonzy and Memphis Slim, Chicago, 1940. 
  3. Thelonious Monk, Howard McGhee, Roy Eldridge, and Teddy Hill in front of Minton’s Playhouse in Harlem, N.Y, 1947.

(via diasporicroots)

Photo
micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.

Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

(via namoritaprentiss)

Text

voldy92:

there is nothing rarer and more beautiful than liking every song on an album

(via namoritaprentiss)

Photoset

tiarasofspanishmoss:

I think one of the hardest things about being a child whose a father who was in and out of prison was the judgment of other authority figures/adults. Not only did people go on and on with simplistic messages about how people end up in prison, they also told us to our faces that our family problems, our troubles in school and more were all the result of “a culture of failure” and (most of) our parents being unmarried. It was hard enough being taught to build a relationship with my father over prison visits and letters, but the way we were taught to view our families and ourselves because of generational incarceration was dangerous.

(Source: sandandglass, via reagan-was-a-horrible-president)

Text

actionables:

SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL

(via namoritaprentiss)

Text

boy-alien:

girl hate is toxic, I don’t have time or patience for girls making fun of each other’s bodies etc

(Source: alien-babie, via alchemy)

Text

moodysshuffle:

ppl be like “weird al has returned” like he left or s/t

weird al never leaves

he is a constant force in this world

you might not hear about him for a while, a few months, a couple years

but he’s always here, and has never left

he doesn’t return. he rises.

(via iamgwenslongroadhome)

Photoset

queenoftheshucks:

chaoticbanter:

catsbeaversandducks:

Comic by ©The Oatmeal

I laugh, but it’s frighteningly true

I can’t stop laughing

(via iamgwenslongroadhome)

Photo
superstardestroyer:


#Obi-Wan’s state of existence summed up.

That’s it. That’s Star Wars.
All six movies and a tv show.

superstardestroyer:

#Obi-Wan’s state of existence summed up.

That’s it. That’s Star Wars.

All six movies and a tv show.

(via candypinkcocks)

Tags: star wars
Text

As a random thought…

morenavbby:

So in the comics Hawkeye has 80% hearing loss.

The Black Widow is Russian.

Can you imagine when they’re on a mission and something goes wrong; the police are about to arrest them and they fall back on Plan H.

Black Widow, “So remember, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”

(via jamesbuckkybarrnes)

Photoset
Tags: *snort*